Let's make up some absolutely terrible abilities for Beowulf

[Wulfy-prime]

Sharpshooter- Projectiles do +20% damage. Beowulf's chair is not considered to be a projectile.
Hulkamania- Gain Unflinching upon reaching 1% HP. Atk also goes up 10%, but speed lowers 50%
5 Knuckle Shuffle- Melee moves all have knockback. Enemies can still attack right after, which makes comboing impossible.
Post-Accident Injury- Any throw will give Beowulf a permanent Disabled debuff for the rest of the fight. Moving at all gives a 5% chance for Stun. Blockbusters also don't gain meter.
The Jobber- Beowulf's Hype Mechanic Meter only reaches maximum after getting KO'd. Having another Beowulf on your team won't let you use it, and will, in fact, instantly lead to the deceased Beowulf's hype getting reduced to zero.

 

[Shawesome]

I'm gonna make one that's 50/50 usage wise:
Howling Spirit: 10% chance on hit to gain enrage for 8 seconds. Also again armor break for 8 seconds. 20% chance to inflict cripple on the opponent if you land a critical hit.

 

[Zuzuska]

Arthritis- Beowulf's maximum health is increased by 30%, but every punching attack causes him to be inflicted with heavy bleed and cripple.

 

[Black Egret#13]

Generous: 50% chance on hit to inflict INVINCIBLE on opponent for 180 seconds

 

[luawei]

Grudge Match Beowulf
Signature Ability: Cage Fight
When this character is in play, both sides have permanent Unflinching. Blocking, Outtakes and Tag-ins are disabled for both sides.

Lone Wolf Beowulf
Signature Ability: There's No Team In Beowulf!
This character gains 100% extra Maximum HP and deals 50% more damage but all other teammates immediately die on Tag-in.

Overhyped Beowulf
Signature Ability: Hype Crash
This character deals 80% less damage but does not give the opponent Blockbuster charge on hit. When Hype is used, the previous penalty is removed and instead Beowulf deals 100% more damage with attacks but instantly dies when the Hype is over.

Toothless Beowulf
Signature Ability: All Bark And No Bite
Generates Blockbuster charge 3 times as fast but deals 80% less damage. Also generates Hype 3 times as fast.

Barking Mad Beowulf
Signature Ability: Someone Shut Up That Dog!
This characters deals 80% less damage but the Special Move, Wulf Blitzer, has no cooldown. Enjoy continuous barking noises

 

[Peacockis2cool4u]

Fleas: Gain permanent REGEN and ENRAGE for the last 180 seconds in each fight.

 

[FreyRenoir]

NO HOLDS BARRED: Everything is unblockable while Beowulf is tagged in

 

[Phil'sPills]

ROWDY RECKLESSNESS: When attacking an opponent, have a 50% chance to instantly defeat you and said opponent. This Beowulf is also banned from all play afterwords, and will have to take weekly therapy sessions for a whole year.